Life is good but the phone is better

I just returned from Southeast Asia, landed in Finland, and hit a wall — too many goals, zero motivation, and an alarming screen-time habit. In this post, I unpack what post-travel burnout really feels like, how social media hijacked my attention, and the small challenge I’m setting for myself this week.

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I found myself in Finland.

We finished our Southeast Asia travels with a flight from Vietnam. I’ve been struggling with motivation and overall feeling pretty shaggy. My wisdom tooth has been growing, and my whole face and neck hurt because of it. I probably should have gone to the dentist, but it’s getting better now, so hopefully it’ll go away on its own.

Another reason I’m lacking motivation is that I just want to go back to Vietnam. Or the Philippines. Or Japan. I want to return to those places where I watch the sunset on the beach, where food is extremely cheap, and it’s so hot outside that I wear swimsuits instead of t-shirts.

Finland

I guess that’s a sign I enjoyed my travels. And I definitely want to continue traveling for years to come. I think long-term travel is becoming one of my goals now — alongside finishing university, finding a nice job (or creating one for myself), exploring new and old hobbies, visiting family, prioritizing friendships, building a functional workout routine… and so on and so on.

I have approximately a million goals in life.

And I’m not actively working on any of them. Because there are too many, and I don’t know which one to start with. It’s a little overwhelming.

But instead of figuring out a system to enjoy life and be productive, I do the opposite. I reach for my phone. And my laptop. And my tablet. Or any device that lets me open Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

I think I might be getting addicted.

Even though I feel overwhelmed by all of my dreams, I have a bit of motivation to accomplish them.

Even though I feel overwhelmed by all of my dreams, I still have a bit of motivation and hope to focus on them and accomplish something. But it all fades away the moment I pick up my phone — just to check something — and four hours later I’m watching YouTube Shorts.

How is that even possible?

I used to think I was only using my phone to delay tasks or avoid emotions. I’d scroll when I didn’t want to deal with something. But now, I don’t feel like I’m ignoring anything. I really think it might be just the phone itself.

I’m in a café right now, planning and organizing my upcoming week, and I feel no motivation whatsoever to do anything about my screen time or my million goals. I had a rush of motivation a few weeks ago when I was in El Nido — I wanted to do something great with my life and use my time wisely. And for almost a month, I kept up. I was working on my projects every day, and every Sunday I sat down, reviewed my progress, planned the upcoming week, and reflected on what was going on in my head.

But for the past few days, I haven’t been feeling my best. It might even be over a week now. Especially this morning — I felt awful. Mostly because of yesterday. I ate too many sugary sweets, my stomach was hurting in the evening, and I couldn’t fall asleep. So I grabbed my phone and scrolled until my head was hurting. I did it all wrong. All I wanted to do this morning was to grab my phone and check new reels. I felt unmotivated, groggy, lazy, and tired. I felt numb.

I’ve noticed that the more I scroll mindlessly, the more numb I feel. Occasionally, I’m manipulated by that rare, “inspiring” feeling that comes after watching a wholesome video — the kind that makes me believe scrolling is good. The algorithm is really amazing. I get great recommendations, and I genuinely enjoy what I see. Sometimes I scroll out of habit, but mostly, I’m loving it. And that makes me want to scroll even more. But objectively, I'm missing out on real-life experiences and emotions.

So right now, a few hours later with a clearer mind, I want to do something about it. Sitting in a café and planning my week, it feels like the perfect time. For the next seven days, I’m not going to focus on any of my goals. Instead, I’ll focus on spending less time on my phone.

And I’ll see what happens in the many hours I’ll save by not scrolling.

Here is my game plan:

1) I’m allowed to scroll, but only after I edit a reel with the intention to post it (to spread a word about this blog). Then I can scroll to engage with other people’s content (which will encourage me not to scroll mindlessly). The moment I stop engaging, I put the phone down.

2) No phone for 30 minutes after I wake up.

3) No scrolling for two hours before going to sleep. If I want to use my phone in the evenings, I can — but only to watch a longer YouTube video. No mindless scrolling; just content that inspires or teaches me something.

The idea is to create a relationship with my phone that can be sustainable. The problem for me is mindless scrolling, but there are still creators I enjoy following. I want to replace mindless scrolling with mindfully consuming content that actually pushes me to be active.

Hopefully, by carving out a few hours each week, I’ll have time to focus on the goals I have and move forward. And explore Finland a bit more.

I’ll try it out for a week and will come back with a post next Sunday to keep you updated on how it’s going (and to also give me a feeling of being “checked” by someone).